Sheltering the Christian Home from Cultural Storms

The Christian home is a sweet grace from the Lord, but it can also be a significant struggle to manage. Maintaining a spiritually healthy marriage and raising spiritually-minded children is not easy. In a fallen world, with fallen influences, and fallen inclinations, family life can be a frustrating life. However, God did not design the family to produce frustration; the frustration arises when you depart from God’s design.

The three most common causes of exasperation in the home are 1) a family life not ordered according to God’s word, 2) family members not growing in God’s grace, and 3) a family unit not plugged into the church.

A biblically ordered home...

If your family life is not submitted to the Scriptures, it will rob you of peace and joy. This principle applies to the ordering of the home as much as it does to the ethics of your home. In other words, you can expect tension and trouble when your family's roles and relationships are not organized around the precepts of Scripture. Husbands, wives, parents, and children all need to know their God-ordained role in the household. When this biblical order is ignored, it always leads to exasperation. In fact, if you are experiencing relational, spiritual, or practical aggravations in your family life it should cause you to examine whether or not your home is ordered according to God’s plan.

God's design for the family is a practical grace that is frequently rejected by the world. More than reject, our culture has resented and reviled what the Bible has to say about life in the home. The priorities, positions, and practices prescribed by Scripture are viewed as outdated and oppressive. As John MacArthur notes,

The moral fabric of our culture has already unraveled--and this long, indefatigable campaign to corrupt the minds and moral values of young children is one of the most destructive forces at the root of the problem. Biblical faith, once a major force in Western culture, is now deemed a fringe belief system. It is deliberately undermined, mocked, and opposed at almost every level, from public school curriculum to the music and entertainment that is being pushed at our children. (The War on Children, 12)

Our culture has dismantled the very structure of the home and in the process is destroying the very fabric of our society--the family. Conservative estimates put the number of children born into single parent families at 1 in 4, making it the world's highest rate of children living with only one parent. In a fallen world, we can expect death, abandonment, divorce, all which lead to single parent homes. It would be an egregious error to impugn the integrity of single parents doing the best to raise their children. However, it would also be an unrealistic and unbiblical mistake to think that the current rates of single parent homes is healthy. There is a reason why Proverbs 1:8 says, “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching.” The biblically ideal structure for the home is for children to have a mother and a father who can provide the ideal protection and nurture.

The protection of God's design has been rejected by a large swath of the world as oppressive. As an example, consider this paragraph that was written by a high school student:

Oppression is first introduced to humans through their primary socialisation within the family. The family is an institution in which it transmits the stereotypical gender roles, for example women performing the expressive role (being nurturing) and men performing the instrumental role (being the breadwinner). These gender roles are then taught to children through types of toys children are given when they are younger. For example, boys are typically given toy cars and train sets, which require building which could spark their interest in manual labour or engineering, two heavily male dominated job sectors, whereas girls are typically given dolls and teddy bears that they care for and look after. As a result, children being socialised in this environment, with the woman typically being the dependent housewife/mother figure and the father being the breadwinner; the children are being conditioned into roles that will keep women oppressed.

This particular student is only regurgitating the critical theory that she has been fed throughout her nascent academic career. This is what critical theorists call structural oppression--the idea that the institutions of society, especially the family unit, are power structures used to oppress and victimize people without power. In this worldview, the family is a form of oppression that specifically forces women to subject their bodies and their lives to men and children. This, by the way, is why homosexuality occupies an exalted position in this worldview; it is an expression of rebellion and freedom from the oppression of the family! As crazy as some of these ideas might sound, the impact of these ideologies has become ubiquitous--you can see it everywhere.

The lengths to which the culture will go in order to dismantle the home is not surprising when considered in the light of Scripture. A biblical view of marriage and family recognizes these institutions as restraining graces (not exclusively, but definitely), and the world does not appreciate restraints to sin (cf., Rom 1:18ff). This is why the home is under attack. So what do we do?

In order to shelter the Christian home from cultural storms, the church must begin by understanding, honoring, and maintaining biblically ordered homes. In other words, we must submit to God's design for the family and propagate these biblical principles to the next generation. The best way to fight godless ideologies is with biblical fidelity. The battleground on which this war is being wages is not merely philosophical, it is moral. Consider 2 Corinthians 10:4-5:

“For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:4–5, ESV)

The purpose of taking thoughts captive to Christ is obedience to Christ. This means, among other things, that we cannot expect for our protests against the moral decay of our culture to honor the Lord unless we are simultaneously submitting our homes to his commands. Husbands must understand the sobering reality of being the head of the house. Wives must understanding the glory of submission. Children need to learn the foundational importance of obedience, and parents need to recognize the priority of training children in this indispensable discipline. When the world maligns the biblically ordered relationships that make up the Christian home, we cannot waver from what we know God has said.

When my kids were young I would read them a children's book titled If You Give a Moose a Muffin. The book begins, "If you give a moose a muffin, he'll ask for some jam to go with it. When the moose is finished eating his muffin he'll want another and another and another! When the muffins are all gone you'll have to go to the store to get muffin mix." By the end of the book, the moose has taken over the entire house and still wants another muffin. I am not exactly sure what the point of the book is, but I do know that the moose is a fitting analogy for what the culture will do to your family. If you let the world dictate how your home is ordered, it will take your entire home.

A spiritually stable home...

In addition to ordering your family according to God’s plan, you must be pursuing growth according to God’s grace. In order for your family to thrive, you must be walking with the Lord. The spiritual maturity of every member of the family will impact the joy and peace of the home. Your household needs spiritually stable and growing family members!

A spiritually stable individual exhibits the kind of constancy that leads to gains in holiness and usefulness in ministry. A stable believer is steadfast in the battle against his own sin, unwavering in his commitment to the Truth, and unflappable in his convictions about Christ. This is an individual who, while being imperfect, resolutely stands firm in his faith and regularly submits his life to the means of grace. Unstable Christians are easily shaken in their faith and alarmed by circumstances; stable Christians consistently trust what God’s word says and seek to obey it no matter what their circumstances are like. 

Spiritual stability is not a result of disposition, it is the fruit of training. This is why God has given the church gifted pastors who can equip the saints by teaching the truth (Eph 4:11-12). The influence of such a truth-saturated leadership is stabilizing in the life of the church (Eph 4:15). In fact, this is one of the hallmarks of a stable church, its people collectively look to the truth for guidance rather than being thrown off course by diverting influences. Whether it is an entire congregation or an individual believer, a failure to keep coming back to the truth will rob you of stability in the Christian life. It is insufficient—if you want to be stable—to initially acknowledge the truth if you won’t continue with it over time and in all circumstances. One of the most common stability stealers in the Christian life is a lack of endurance in the truth. The kind of deep convictions that are required to be stable require time and truth—you can’t abandon Scripture. If you want to grow up to be a more stable believer you must abide in the truth, which is the point of 2 Thessalonians 2:15:  

“So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the traditions that you were taught by us, either by our spoken word or by our letter.” (2 Thessalonians 2:15, ESV)

One thing is clear, if the truth of Scripture ever slips into the background of your life then you won’t enjoy spiritual stability. When other influences—your own opinions, your own fears, false teaching, etc.—overshadow the truth in your life you forfeit the stabilizing grace of God’s inspired word. Just as the wise man built his house on the rock, you have to base your life on the truth, and stay there. Stability in the Christian life is always the fruit of an enduring commitment to and constant attentiveness to the word of God. This is what your family desperately needs.

In order to shelter your home from cultural storms you need the kind of stability that comes from growing closer to Christ. It is not enough to recognize the rot of worldly ideologies and the blessings of a biblically ordered home. The members of your household need to know and love Christ more than they need anything else.

A thoroughly churched home...

In order to pursue growth in grace, your household must be feeding on the means of grace, which means you must be plugged into the life of the church in order to experience the full blessings God offers through the Christian home. Too many families try to figure out their family life before they plug into the life of the church, as if they can do it all by themselves. Or they make an idol out of their family and detach themselves from the teaching, shepherding, and discipleship they need in order to maintain a faithful Christian home. If the life of your family is not intertwined with the household of God, you should not expect God’s blessing. A Christian home must be committed to the local church.

Committing to the church as a family begins with making the body of Christ a priority in your home. In a world with so many good things available to do, you must make your church the highest priority. Little League, recitals, weekend trips, and everything else must come after sacrificial service to the church. Your family needs to see you make the Lord and his people the highest priority in you entire life.

Committing to the church as a family begins with making the body of Christ a priority in your home. In a world with so many good things available to do, you must make your church the highest priority. Little League, recitals, weekend trips, and everything else must come after sacrificial service to the church. Your family needs to see you make the Lord and his people the highest priority in you entire life.

The primacy of the church doesn’t make the family is unimportant, but it does mean that your family must prioritize the church in order to be faithful. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you can shelter your family from cultural storms without making the church a priority. If you want to protect your family, find a faithful local church and make Hebrews 10:23-25 a key principle in your family life:

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

NOTE: You can read more about how to manage and maintain the home from a biblical perspective in the The Christian Home a book written by Paul Shirley.